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Symbol copyright Getty Photographs

In our series of letters from African reporters, Elizabeth Ohene considers the controversial thought to limit girls to having three small children in Ghana.

Among the Ga, the folk who’re indigenous to Ghana’s capital, Accra, a lady is entitled to a are living sheep on the supply of her tenth kid. The word for it’s “nyongmato”.

I’M now not making this up even if it does sound like the roughly apocryphal story that is continuously made up.

loads of very important people among the Fuel can testify to this. Unfortunately, I’ve now not met any girl who has actually were given a reside sheep for having given birth to 10 kids.

Certainly, I’ve never met any woman who has had 10 kids.

Image copyright Getty Pictures Image caption Ghana’s population has grown from 5 million in 1957 to almost 30 million today

i used to be scandalised and that i spent all of the funeral going over those figures and moaning to myself how simple it was once to find the reasons for the poverty in Ghana.

I Have been waging a lonely unpopular battle in regards to the fee of inhabitants enlargement in our us of a and against women having such a lot of young children, however to no avail.

I roll out what I bear in mind to be a valid argument that i thought would win over all doubters.

I cite Norway, which had a inhabitants of 3.5 million to Ghana’s five million on the time of our independence in 1957.

Today, there are 5.3 million other folks residing in Norway whilst Ghana has a population of just about 30 million.

‘We do not depend children’

I make the argument that although none of our rulers ever stole any public finances, we might still have economic problems at this rate of inhabitants growth.

The remaining time I visited Lillehammer in Norway, I wrote in my column concerning the distinction in our eventualities. I mentioned it’s no marvel the whole lot is bursting at the seams and we are without end being worried about the lack of classrooms.

Someway, these arguments do not lower any ice with people right here as a result of it’s thought to be in extremely bad style to whinge in regards to the selection of kids anyone has.

As any person as soon as claimed to me: “In our custom we don’t rely kids.”

Elizabeth Ohene:

Symbol copyright Elizabeth Ohene

“Dr Appiah is an incredibly brave lady. She has proposed that ladies need to be restricted to having three youngsters”

the good news is that now i do not feel by myself in this combat.

Into the fray has jumped the executive Director of the Nationwide Inhabitants Council, Dr Leticia Adelaide Appiah, and consider me, she is an extremely brave girl.

She isn’t talking in parables, she is immediately to the point. She has proposed that ladies should be restricted to having 3 youngsters.

and she says this have to be obligatory.

If a woman is going beyond this sacred collection of 3, she would be punished by being denied get right of entry to to free government services.

‘Outrage from males’

We have to communicate about the quality of life, Dr Appiah has been arguing.

i don’t recall that any one in an legit position has been this specific in Ghana about circle of relatives planning ever sooner than.

Image copyright Getty Images Symbol caption Ghana’s fertility charge is falling, but still, on average, a lady has four youngsters

we have had a family planning policy considering that 1970 but regularly other folks only communicate concerning the spacing of births and then hope that the spacing will lead to the birth of fewer youngsters.

This time around Dr Appiah is urging a cap at the collection of kids a girl must have.

it is attention-grabbing to note that that the folk who declare to be outraged by way of the notion to restrict the selection of children had been largely males. I Am sorry none in their arguments stick in my mind long sufficient to repeat here.

I Have now not yet heard any girl bitch that they don’t want the number of children they can need to be restricted.

Ghana’s fertility rate, that may be the common collection of children per woman, lately stands at four, though that determine has fallen regularly over the final 30 years.

Another attention-grabbing statistic worth noting is that there has now not been a single loss of life from measles in Ghana in view that 2002. Measles used to be one in every of the principle baby killers, and the primary justification for having many births.

Symbol copyright Getty Images Symbol caption there is a rural-city divide in the birth fee in Ghana

This prior week, I Have been doing an excessively unscientific survey.

Each And Every pregnant lady I’ve seen, I Have asked which quantity it was once and I’ve now not but met a woman in her 3rd pregnancy. But I’M almost certainly having a look in the improper position by means of asking working girls in banks, in workplaces and stores; the top delivery rates can also be discovered most commonly in the rural spaces.

There would possibly but be a few women who’re aspiring to get that live sheep.

we would most likely have to find an equally horny present for every lady who makes a decision to forestall at 3 or underneath. the issue is i will not suppose what can most likely problem the “10-baby sheep”, nyongmato.

Extra from Elizabeth Ohene:

The quiz show taking Ghana by typhoon ‘Why I cherished Winnie Mandela, warts and all’ Why did Swaziland take 50 years to change its identify? Why Ghanaians are so gradual to bury their lifeless

Apply us on Twitter @BBCAfrica, on Facebook at BBC Africa or on Instagram at bbcafrica

Image copyright Addisalem Hadigu Symbol caption In happier instances: Addisalem Hadigu’s daughter is now an Eritrean soldier

Ethiopian journalist Addisalem Hadigu hopes to see his Eritrean spouse and two daughters for the primary time in SIXTEEN years.

It comes after the leaders of the 2 international locations signed a statement, ending the “state of war” which has existed given that their armies fought for territory among 1999 and 2000.

Street and air hyperlinks between the two neighbours are anticipated to reopen in the following couple of days, whilst telephone lines have already been restored.

Addisalem told BBC Tigrinya’s Hana Zeratsyon how the battle destroyed his marriage and break up up his circle of relatives:

I lost two of my younger brothers within the struggle that claimed the lives of tens of lots of people.

Symbol copyright AFP Image caption Tens of thousands died in the bitter border struggle

My spouse had also voted in a referendum in 1993, wherein Eritreans formally voted for independence, after a combat which had lasted for 30 years.

She hesitated in taking part, however I informed her to do it.

I mentioned she may just inform our children the historical past – that their father is from Ethiopia’s Tigray area and their mother from Eritrea.

I took her to vote. My spouse, in conjunction with 99% of Eritreans, voted to secede from Ethiopia.

Possibly this is why she lost her job – and felt she had to go away.

‘I felt like I had died’

It was on a Wednesday while my spouse informed me that she was going to go to her uncle, who lived elsewhere in Ethiopia.

Symbol copyright AFP Symbol caption the street from Ethiopia to Eritrea is predicted to reopen within the coming days

I waited for her to return again with our kids, but they by no means returned.

I realized that she had crossed into Eritrea, as a refugee and was residing in a camp.

The border was once closed to Ethiopians, so i could now not pass after her. I felt like I had died.

‘No reply to letters’

My circle of relatives accused me of doing one thing unhealthy to my wife, pronouncing that is why she had made up our minds to go again home. But I Do Know this is not real.

We have been very shut and revered each other. We knew best laughter and happiness in our circle of relatives.

She didn’t have any family in Eritrea whilst she left.

My spouse left a letter for me with our neighbours.

“This feels even worse than losing any person thru dying. i’ve left for Eritrea with my youngsters,” she wrote.

“I leave the boy with you. If I Get any chance i will be able to write to you, if now not take care of yourself.”

My neighbours sat for every week with me even as i used to be in mourning.

After this, i may now not inform you in words the life I lived. it would be more uncomplicated to attract it in footage.

i was insane. i used to be like a useless guy strolling. My lifestyles was without that means, with out taste.

i wished i’ll die. every day i might visit work and drink. This was once my life.

Symbol copyright AFP Symbol caption The war cemetery in Eritrea is a reminder of many years of battle with Ethiopia

Until Ethiopia’s new Top Minister Abiy Ahmed took steps in up to date months to normalise relations with Eritrea, it was unattainable to assume that our international locations could ever make peace.

I used to wish my family had moved to another u . s . – because it might had been easier to visit them there than to cross the border into Eritrea.

I used to send letters to my spouse throughout the Red Go, which helped households separated by means of the warfare to trace each other.

But i stopped writing to her as a result of I never gained any answer. I nonetheless want to meet her to find out why she left me.

‘Wise beyond her years’

I wrote to my daughters, Asmera Addisalem and Danait Addisalem, thrice, and received a reply once.

since the introduction of social media, I Have had touch with them by way of Fb, however no longer consistently.

My youngest daughter, Danait, used to at all times ask how i was, and say: “we can’t communicate in voice, however we miss you.”

i have now not spoken to them for a while now.

Symbol copyright Corbis/Getty Pictures Symbol caption Many Ethiopians and Eritreans within the diaspora have come out in give a boost to of the peace procedure

I Do Know that my youngest daughter graduated from technical college and joined Sawa Army Coaching Camp.

Now she is a soldier – because of this i can’t talk to her any longer.

Those doing national provider in Eritrea can not raise mobile phones.

I consider her lifestyles to be tough. Although i’ve incredible love for all my kids, i have an especially deep love for my youngest daughter.

She is sensible and smart beyond her years. She doesn’t tolerate lies and robbery.

Extra at the Ethiopia-Eritrea reconciliation:

Making peace with ‘Africa’s North Korea’

The man who’s changing Ethiopia

The story behind Africa’s unfinished battle

You can get the latest BBC information in Afaan Oromo, Amharic and Tigrinya.

I badly need to see my daughters again and pour out what i’ve had in my middle these kinds of years.

I Have already began to seek for them, and hope to find a residential deal with soon.

Now i’m 58 years antique. I did not expect to be still alive, however I are living most effective to look my daughters and spouse again.

‘Beginning a brand new lifestyles’

Even now, in my desires, I see my children. And whilst on Sunday I noticed Eritrean mothers welcoming Mr Abiy in Eritrea’s capital Asmara, I saw my daughters and my wife in the faces of those moms and kids.

Image copyright @fitsumaregaa Symbol caption Eritreans got here out in large numbers to welcome Ethiopia’s top minister

Now I Need to head to Asmara, meet my vintage pals, and begin a brand new lifestyles.

I Would Like to look my daughters dressed well. i need to touch their hair, wash their hands, odor their smell and notice them looking after me for i am an old man.

If this present day ever comes, i will be able to say i am born again.

And of course, i can take my son with me. He, too, needs to look his sisters after these kind of years of separation.